A Different Kind of Memorial Day

The weekend has been hard.

We did go out to Fort Worth (again) to see that group of friends… which was a lot of fun.  Every year there is a huge crawfish boil, and it’s a lot of fun.  Usually it is white trash themed – but this year they decided against it.  (I was sure to tell everyone how disappointed I was that I was not able to play up the “pregnant white trash” costume and they all agreed it was a massive bummer!)

We spent most of Saturday out in Fort Worth hanging out, playing washers, boiling crawfish, and having a nice time.  It’s pretty crazy how much this group is growing up… most everyone is married, engaged, or seriously dating… a bunch of people have kids… and I wasn’t the only pregnant one there.  Pretty big difference than when the party started 6 years ago!  I wish I could have gotten more in the spirit of the party – but the not drinking was lame and I couldn’t stop thinking about Randy.

The rest of the weekend has been remembering Randy.  As I mentioned on Friday, Randy was a very dear family friend.  My dad is extremely blessed with a very large group of really amazing friends – but Randy was number one.  Randy was my uncle.  He was there when I was born (and he actually fed me before my dad did)… and now he is gone.

Randy’s parents were on their way to visit for the weekend when they got the call.  We had all been looking forward to a fun Memorial Day weekend with lots of hanging out – I hadn’t seen Randy in about a year and I can’t remember the last time I saw his parents!  I was so pumped up to see everyone…

Randy made the decision early on Thursday morning to take his own life.

Well, the decision was probably made much earlier than Thursday morning, because he left us with everything taken care of.  He left us a letter with very specific instructions of what to do, and what he wanted.  We are all heartbroken, confused, and left wondering if there was anything we could have done.

I know, of course, that there isn’t.  But that doesn’t make it any easier.

Today will be the last day we all get together before attempting to continue on with life, without Randy.  While he wasn’t an intricate part of my day-to-day life… he was to my father.  I just wish there was something I could do.  I know there isn’t.

But if there is anything I can do… it’s to let you know that your life has meaning.  We’ve heard it all before but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and it is absolutely never the answer.  So many people love you.

So today, we celebrate.  I’ll be celebrating Randy’s life for the rest of mine, but today we will do it with my dad’s Jack Daniel’s Ribs.

 

 

We love you, and miss you, Uncle Randy.

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2 thoughts on “A Different Kind of Memorial Day

  1. Big hugs to you. Suicide is the hardest. I lost several friends between high school graduation and graduating college to suicide and it doesn’t get any easier. My heart is with you all.

  2. I haven’t stopped thinking of you and your family – and of course Randy – since this happened. Much love to all of you during this extremely sad and difficult time. XOXO

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