Treat Yourself Tuesday

Happy Tuesday, everybody!

Thanks so much for all the love on the triathlon.  I’m still so shocked I actually finished – and did WELL.  I’m waiting for the photos to be posted online so I can give you an epic recap… hopefully sooner than later!!!

This is my tenth week participating in Treat Yourself Tuesday – can you believe it?  I can’t.  I still feel like I just started the wordpress blog yesterday… time sure does fly.  Speaking of time flying, I am in my second trimester.  WHAT?!  Most of the treating I have done has been pregnancy related.  Like my prenatal massage last weekend.  And the new sheets I bought for the new king sized bed we are finally getting because I am NOT getting any smaller and sleep is NOT getting any easier.  AND I am treating myself to some rest this week.  I don’t really miss you… gym…

Pregnant ladies should treat themselves, and often.  Growing a human being is really hard work.

I found a list of the most ridiculous pregnancy products on Baby Zone the other day – and thought this would be a great place to re-post.

Belly Casting Kit – Pregnant bellies are beautiful evidence of the miracle inside. That being said, no one wants to keep a paper mache facsimile of your belly around for posterity. Especially one that includes your naked pendulous pregnancy boobs.

Belly Painting Kit – Painting your pregnant belly, do you really have that much free-time? And even if you do, why would you shell out extra money for a special kit, like this one for $26.99 from Babies R Us? Why not just slap some finger paint on your stomach and call it good.

Fetus Cookie Cutter – A fetus cookie cutter is funny until you show up to a baby shower and someone tries to make you eat a cookie that looks like a fetus. Baby showers are bad enough with all those stupid games, why do we have to add cannibalism?

Placenta Pendant – A custom pendant made of your placenta can be found on Etsy or anywhere gross jewelry is sold. While I’m glad your placenta aided in the creation of that miracle that is currently pooping his pants, I don’t want to see it and neither does anyone else.

Maternity Shapewear – I can barely keep a bra on during pregnancy, so the idea of maternity shapewear makes me stabby. Pregnancy is the one time in your life you are allowed to be as fat as you want, why would you want to strap all that chub in? It’s a baby, it’s supposed to hang out.  (I must disagree with this one, I am looking forward to purchasing some preggy spanx)

Groin Band – Groin bands like this one from BabyBelly are designed to help you feel like your baby won’t just slip out of your lady bits. Which actually sounds nice, compared the the reality of giving birth. But sorry, that’s just your vagina playing tricks on you. Do you know why everything feels like it’s going to fall out of your vagina during pregnancy? Because eventually it will. Use some duct tape or just take a seat and get used to it.

Designer Puke Bags – Why puke in a plastic Wal-Mart bag when you can puke in style? Your vomit never looked so good as it will in these Morning Chicness Bags. $12.95 for a set of 20 bags or, $.65 a puke.

Expensive Hospital Gown – Hospital gowns are ugly. So, it’s understandable that women want other options. But spending over $80 on a hospital gown that you will stain with amniotic fluid doesn’t make sense. Instead of spending $100 or more on a delivery gown, you could just poop and bleed all over a Benjamin and save yourself the shipping costs.

Tacky Maternity Shirts – Cafe Press has a lot of hilarious pregnancy swag and some that is not so hilarious. If you have to buy a pregnancy shirt, can you please buy one that doesn’t make reference to your sex life? It’s not funny, it’s just awkward. For everyone.

Headphones for Your Uterus – 20 years from now, listening to classical music in utero will not stop your kid from knocking over a liquor store. Not convinced? You can buy these from Belly Buds. Or just turn on some music.

HAH!  I will be treating myself to spanx… but that’s as far as it goes.  Can you believe some of the ridiculous products out there for pregnancy??  Or am I the only one that thinks these things are completely insane.

Be sure to stop by Olives and Wine to check out the link up!

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2 thoughts on “Treat Yourself Tuesday

  1. COMPLETELY insane. This post is hilarious. Not only will they make you a placenta pendant, but they will also make you jewelry out of the baby’s cord stump. I seriously just about threw up in my mouth. WHY WOULD YOU WEAR THAT? I couldn’t wait for that thing to fall off!

    (I CANNOT WAIT FOR YOUR TRI RECAP!)

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