Shout out to the hostess with the mostess – Becky at Olives and Wine!! (side note? spell check tried to get me to change “mostess” to “moistness” and ew seriously that’s so gross)
I have not been good at treating myself this past week. Wanna know what I have done? Slept. And ate a lot. I watched some movies in between naps and meals, but I have been one giant lump the past week. When I went to write this post I realized how lame I have been – I did a quick google search on how to treat yourself. SELF Magazine has a list of 16 Ways to Treat Yourself. I am going to go through them one by one and judge them. Maybe I’ll get some new ideas… but if they’re lame then at least I’ll have fun being judgmental.
1) Get a gratitude app. I had one of these once for 5 minutes. Every day I wrote “Hula” (my dog) and that was the extent of it. I am grateful for her, but all it really did was make me realize I couldn’t come up with more things to be grateful for – which made me sad. I was not in the best place in my life when I had this app…
2) Brew hot chocolate. “Brew”?? Or put in microwave? Brew sounds like coffee to me. Anyways I won’t be doing this because calories. … actually? Okay. That sounds good. I think we have some packets of chemically laced hot chocolate with mini marshmallows that I should make when I get home tonight. I’m gonna do it. Chemicals and all.
3) Try e-tail therapy. Nope. Will NOT be shopping online. That is a great way to treat yourself, but not on a budget! Plus then I’d get buyers remorse and ain’t nobody got time for that.
4) Hire a housecleaner. Hahahahahahahahaha no.
5) Sample a fine wine. Yes, please. This article talks about many neighborhood shops offering free sips on a regular basis – which I am sure they do – but meh. A few years ago we read about a “wine tasting” at a place we hadn’t heard of before. Turns out it was a liquor store and we got a thimble of wine. And it was awkward. And we felt obligated to buy something because we were at a liquor store.
6) Hit a farmers’ market. This actually sounds like a total blast. I know Dallas has a farmer’s market but I don’t know any details about it. If the weather looks nice this weekend maybe I can convince the mister to take me out there… I’m actually stoked about this. I wanna do it!!
7) Make a new playlist. That just sounds like a lot of work to me. How about I find an already made playlist on Spotify? Okay.
8) Go pillow shopping. Again with the shopping! Seriously though, we just bought new pillows like 3 weeks ago. And at first I was reeeeeeeally angry because they were NOT comfortable. But they are breaking in a bit now and I don’t hate them. I actually may like them. Maybe.
9) Enjoy some culture. Museums are actually pretty fun, and Dallas has a ton of cool ones. I’m not really feeling like going to an art or sculpture museum – but again, if the weather is nice, I wouldn’t be against spending the afternoon at the arboretum…
10) Document your nabe. Nabe? I don’t even know what that is. Oh… I think they mean “neighborhood”. No, I will not be doing that. My apartment is lame and so is the complex. All that makes me do is pout that we don’t have a house yet. Boo. Next…
11) Jump around. This is in reference to all those trampoline parks popping up everywhere. (pun mildly intended) – again, meh. I bet it would be a blast to go with someone else who really wanted to go… but I can’t think of anyone who would want to do that with me. So I will pass on this one.
12) Visit a spa. Dollar dollar bills, y’all. But actually I have a spa appointment on the 28th. 29th? I can’t remember. But it’s when I am in Vegas. Treat yo’ self.
13) Join a flash mob. NO. JUST NO.
14) Be a football fan. Um, what? Being a football fan is not treating myself. It’s torturing myself. My love for the Green Bay Packers has brought many a tears to my eyes. (Seriously, and once? Those tears froze to my face because it was negative fifteen degrees outside and we just lost the NFC championship to the Giants)
15) See two in a row. Movies? Maybe on my couch… but I couldn’t do the double feature at a theater. Nope no way no how. We kind of did that last week? Sunday we Netflixed “Hunger Games” and Monday we Redboxed “Catching Fire”… does that count?
16) Book a staycation. Again with the dollars. But this is a cool idea. We always get those groupon-type emails with good deals. Once or twice we have ALMOST purchased a night in a local hotel just for fun… but never pulled the trigger. Maybe the next time it’s a stellar deal we will do it. Maaaybe. Again with the dollars and the budget…
Ok. SO – that’s actually not a bad list. I am seriously going to make some hot chocolate tonight (if we have it)… and there is a very good chance that we are going to hit up the farmers market, and then have an impromptu picnic at the arboretum this weekend! All and all I say my judgmental judgy judging of the SELF list served me well.